Changing others


Reflection for June – Pamela Scott DCS




‘You can’t change someone who does not see an issue with their actions.  You can only change how you react to them.’




I saw this on Facebook today and thought how true it was.  Having been married for 31 years I can appreciate the validity of this statement.  When Gary and I were first married, I constantly heard myself saying things like ‘You left the toilet seat up again.’ ‘You left the top off the toothpaste.’ ‘I’ll change the loo roll again.’ ‘Can you not just pick up after yourself.’ ‘You left crumbs on the worktop.’ I could go on!!!  I certainly thought I could change my husband’s actions by nagging.  I realised that I was trying to change him but all the time he didn’t see a problem with what he was doing.



I then decided, that for my own sanity and our marriage, I had to change the way I reacted to him leaving the toilet seat up, leaving the top off the toothpaste, the empty loo roll, stuff lying around and crumbs on the worktop.  I made a decision not to mention it and just tidy up after him.



When I did this, I found myself to be much calmer and more relaxed.  As the years have passed, he now puts the toilet seat down, the top on the toothpaste and changes the loo roll.  I still pick things up after him and he still leaves crumbs on the worktop, but I live with this and pray that these things too will stop.




I have found as I have got older that if I want to live a peaceful life, I have to take responsibility for it.  I have to act in a way that creates peace in my life, I have to allow others to live their lives the way they want to and leave their actions to God. 




The way I have achieved peace in my live is to hand over things that irritate me or annoy me to God.  He is the one who provides Peace in my life.




God is the one who will provide PEACE in your life too.




It is possible if we remember what is written in Job 22:21-22


‘Your faith and your sincere effort to live according to God’s principles will grant you peace.’




Let’s all live according to God’s will and experience PEACE.











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